Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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