i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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