Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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