"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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