Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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