so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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