The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize