If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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