i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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