what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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