Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
