Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Randomize
