go do what you do best...puke behind churches
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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