There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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