I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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