By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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