i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
