Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
