he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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