I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize