How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
