just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
