Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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