Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
