I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
