the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize