we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
