He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
