he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
