drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
