I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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