it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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