some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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