After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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