I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
