PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
