Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize