He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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