I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
