Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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