I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
