THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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