I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
no, he came in my armpit
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
