I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
