i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
