Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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