Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
