Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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