I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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