Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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