We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize