this will be a night to untag.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
