xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
