sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize