Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
