i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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