this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
