I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
