I'm gonna have a badass scar
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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