alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
