You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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