i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
