was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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