oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
