you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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