so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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