And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
