you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
