We're like a lot better than the average bears
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's never too late to be topless.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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