I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize